Saturday, 31 December 2016

AUTOPSY: 2016


The general consensus is that 2016 is a year that we'd all like to forget, but whatever your feelings about it, there's no denying that it was a strong one for cinema. Here's my top 25 (listed alphabetically), followed by my predictions for best of 2017. See you on the other side!

Note: TANGERINE is a 2015 film that I saw this year, too good to omit.


THE BEST
































THE REST






















HONORABLE MENTIONS






BEST TV




PREDICTIONS FOR BEST OF '17

























Wednesday, 28 December 2016

The Big Ones





Although I mostly cover smaller movies here, I'm not immune to the charms of the big-budget tentpole, particularly when it comes to one of my favourite genres - science fiction. If indie movies are the planets and moons that provide fascinating little worlds for us to explore, blockbusters are the stars that we can't help but gravitate towards, to be dazzled by their immensity and spectacle.

In following with the general shitiness of 2016, this year has been a bit of a wasteland in terms of blockbuster quality. For my money the only real exception was Denis Villeneuve's excellent ARRIVAL, a reminder that big budget sci-fi can - and should - be about more than just action and explosions. However, for all ARRIVAL's strengths - and there are many - it can't quite capture the humanity at the heart of it's source novella (STORY OF YOUR LIFE by Ted Chiang), nor the simple beauty of Chiang's physics and linguistics concepts. The result is a film that is tantalisingly close to perfection, but suffers from too much exposition (almost inevitable when adapting a heavily conceptual work like this), and in terms of its human aspects, ends up being almost as mawkish as it is profound*.



The only other genre blockbusters that came close to greatness this year were STAR TREK BEYOND and ROGUE ONE, but they're both too flawed to be really satisfying. The former is definitely the best of the STAR TREK reboots (and closest in tone to the original series), but in the end BEYOND is still just an action movie with sci-fi trappings, lacking the deeper themes and ideas that make the best of the original series so enduringly great. As for the latter, it's still too reliant on nostalgia and formula to be really exciting. STAR WARS' first opportunity to play outside of the Skywalker sandbox squandered its potential in favour of a lot more of the same. And those jarring CG simulations of Peter Cushing and Carrie Fisher, oy vey! Strong with the dark side this one is though - Ben Mendelsohn's Director Krennic rules, and Vader's scenes are all-timers.



To be perfectly honest, the most outstanding large scale sci-fi production of 2016 is to be found not on the big screen, but on TV. HBO's WESTWORLD is fantastic, and if you haven't given it a shot yet, I highly encourage you to take the plunge. Thematically deep, thought provoking science fiction that also doesn't skimp on delivering plenty of visceral thrills and titillation. With episodes directed by Vincenzo Natali and Neil Marshall, and a cast lead by Ed Harris and Anthony Hopkins, what the fuck are you waiting for? 

So with 2016 behind us, let's look ahead, and the immediate future of the big budget sci-fi movie is blindingly bright. To return to my cheesy space analogy, we're about to enter a cluster of massive stars. As dazzling as they all look now, some of them will invariably implode into black holes of disappointment. No one yet knows which ones are stable, and which will go supernova... but that's all part of the fun, right?


*In screenwriter Eric Heisserer's defence, it must have been a nightmare adapting Chiang's spare, minimalist story into a commercially viable movie.






I like Gareth Edwards' 2014 take on GODZILLA a lot, and I'm pretty chuffed about seeing that universe expand into a fully fleshed out American kaiju series. After the big G goes up against King Ghidorah, Rodan and Mothra in GODZILLA 2, we'll be seeing him face off against King Kong in their very own movie. This March we get our first introduction to Godzilla's once and future nemesis in Jordan Vogt-Roberts KONG: SKULL ISLAND, and this iteration of the beast looks to be the biggest and meanest yet, a far cry from the sympathetic animal of Merian C. Cooper's classic. The tone of the film seems to be "APOCALYPSE NOW on Skull Island", quite appropriate really following an explicit reference to Conrad's HEART OF DARKNESS in Peter Jackson's KING KONG. Not exactly sure why Dr. Steve Brule appears in this movie, or why his beard seems to change in every shot in the trailer, but I'll be finding out opening day. TRAILER





I'm no anime guy (with the exception of AKIRA, which I love), and I've never even watched the original GHOST IN THE SHELL the whole way through, but I'm really digging the look of this live action update. In terms of its production design, GHOST IN THE SHELL looks like cyberpunk heaven, almost certainly the closest anyone has yet come to capturing the aesthetic of William Gibson's Sprawl novels. Of course this probably means another nail in the coffin for the long mooted NEUROMANCER film, an adaptation that feels more redundant every year. Much has been made of the casting of Johansson in the lead as whitewashing, but I'm not too fussed about it. After UNDER THE SKIN I'll follow ScarJo just about anywhere. The big question is whether Rupert Sanders, director of that unfortunate Snow White movie and nothing else, can deliver more than just pretty visuals. TRAILER






I have chronic superhero fatigue, but the one Marvel movie that really does it for me is James Gunn's GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY. Gunn is a terrific writer, and GUARDIANS is brimming with all the hallmarks that made DAWN '04 and SLITHER so memorable: well-drawn characters, a sharp wit and genuinely moving emotional beats. The man can also direct action with the best of them, and his 2014 Marvel entry features some truly mind-blowing set-pieces and action sequences. Top it off with a cosmically epic scope, and some seriously trippy visuals, and you've got a space opera worth rewatching. With more Michael Rooker, a giant tentacled space monster, and a sentient planet played by Kurt Russell, GUARDIANS VOL. 2 is looking very promising. TRAILER






Am I a masochist? You'd think that after the crushing disappointment of PROMETHEUS, my inclusion of ALIEN: COVENANT on this list would all but confirm it. The thing is, my expectations for COVENANT are completely different to Scott's previous ALIEN prequel. Where I wanted that movie to be a masterpiece, I'm more than happy for this one to be a weird, gory, big budget GALAXY OF TERROR type B-movie. And judging by the trailer that just hit, as well as some of the awful rumours that are getting around about the script, that's exactly what we'll be getting. ALIEN: COVENANT looks like a very odd beast indeed, like the endless cycle of cheap ALIEN knockoffs has come full circle to the point where Sir Ridley has now made one himself. Expect this one to outdo RESURRECTION in terms of bizarro self-parody. TRAILER






Speaking of ALIEN knockoffs, LIFE looks like a blatant attempt to marry Scott's classic with Alfonso Cuarón's GRAVITY. Despite an impressive cast and SFX, the film's journeyman-type writer/director team doesn't inspire much confidence. If nothing else it'll provide some nice sci-fi eye candy. TRAILER






This is the big one for me. BLADE RUNNER's legions of devoted fans (of which I'm one) are an obsessive lot, so if Ridley Scott and Co. fuck this one up, they might as well jump the next shuttle Off-World. If it wasn't for the talent behind the scenes on this sequel I would have dismissed it out of hand, but with his art-house meets blockbuster sensibilities, Director Denis Villeneuve is definitely the man for the job. He's working from a script co-written by the original's Hampton Fancher, and bringing with him one of the hottest cinematographers in the business (Roger Deakins), so things are looking positive, but we'll just have to wait until October to see if Villeneuve is really up to the task. ENEMY, SICARIO and ARRIVAL say yes, but regardless of its brilliant director's talent and credentials, BLADE RUNNER 2049's success is largely dependent on avoiding the pitfalls of other recent sequels and prequels. An over indulgence in nostalgia and fan-service will sink this movie like a stone. No one wants to see attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion, or C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. We just want an intelligent, thought provoking continuation of the themes and ideas of the original, and another glimpse into that terrifying yet paradoxically beautiful future. TEASER





I'm writing this last paragraph with a heavy heart. Carrie Fisher died today, and STAR WARS EPISODE VIII will mark her last appearance on the big screen. Let's hope it's a fitting send-off. Despite their strengths, THE FORCE AWAKENS and ROGUE ONE are prime examples of that unhealthy indulgence in nostalgia that I mentioned above, and in order for the series to thrive it needs to break out of its increasingly stale formula. With that in mind, Rian Johnson is a much more optimistic choice to helm a STAR WARS movie than J.J. Abrams. Hopefully the director of LOOPER - one of the more unique SF movies in recent memory - can steer the saga in new and exciting directions. Pros: Johnson has a strong and interesting group of new characters to build on in Rey, Finn and Kylo Renn. Cons: if a rumoured script leak is to be believed, we'll be seeing a story thread explaining the origins of the force, uh-oh!


Carrie Fisher




Actress, writer, mental health advocate... but above all, she was and always will be our princess. Farewell Carrie, we love you.


Saturday, 3 December 2016

THE GREASY STRANGLER




Vying with ANTIBIRTH for grossest film of the year, as well as SWISS ARMY MAN for weirdest, here comes Jim Hosking's THE GREASY STRANGLER. Are you ready?


Hosking's followup to his ABCS OF DEATH 2 segment, G IS FOR GRANDAD, feels like it takes place in the same twisted little universe, replete with bushy man-merkins, prosthetic mutant cocks and gory murder. However, if Hosking's mission with STRANGLER was to outdo the repulsiveness of GRANDAD by an order of magnitude, then he's exceeded expectations. The real success of his first feature is that he's able to sustain interest for 90 minutes in what is essentially an extended gag, intended to make the viewer feel as queasy as possible.  

His experience as a commercial director is all over the film's slick visual style, which is so polished in parts that it feels at odds with the John Waters-esque head-fuckery occurring onscreen. As disgusting as the movie may get (and it does), much of THE GREASY STRANGLER is surprisingly easy on the eyes.


The first thing that struck me while watching it was "where did Hosking find all these weirdos?". Almost everyone in THE GREASY STRANGLER is just... odd, but reigning supreme atop this heap of misfits are Michael St. Michaels and Sky Elobar, as Big Ronnie and Big Brayden respectively. St. Michaels in particular is impossible to look away from. His craggy, leering face and slimy mannerisms are creepy sleazeball incarnate, aided immeasurably by the fact that he spends much of the film naked and wolfing down tasty treats like grapefruit smothered in pan drippings.

Big Ronnie also sports a strong contender for what has to be the most vile cock in the history of cinema. Don't be afraid of that giant, rash covered dog dick though. In fact, I urge you to run towards it, and to bathe luxuriously in the tub of rancid fat that is THE GREASY STRANGLER.


The cherry atop the lard that makes Hosking's first feature slide down the throat so easily is Andrew Hung's tweaking electronic score. It's every bit as demented as the film itself, an infectious mix of sugary earworms and outright madness. You'll find a link to the soundtrack at bandcamp below, where you can wallow in such unforgettable ditties as "Fizzy Barf" and "Stoned on Fart Fumes".

Get your official GREASY STRANGLER merch at Mondo here.












Saturday, 22 October 2016

Support Frank Henenlotter's new movie!




Frank Henenlotter needs our help to get his new film finished. THE TRIAL OF MIKE DIANA is a documentary about the infamous obscenity case that saw underground artist Diana jailed for the crime of... making art.

Supporting this is a no-brainer. We get new Henenlotter (something the world always needs), as well as a film that champions the importance of freedom of expression in art. Kickstarter page here. Check out Frank's site here.








Saturday, 15 October 2016

INTERZONE DISPATCHES: Report #4.4




A belated return to this series of posts in which I'm cataloguing artwork based on the filmography of David Cronenberg, film by film, from SHIVERS to MAPS TO THE STARS.

Previous posts:




Today we're going to Walken the shoes of a man cursed with a psychic "gift", in Cronenberg's only Stephen King adaptation, THE DEAD ZONE... and learn the perils of drinking and teleporting (and how to consume your food by vomiting corrosive enzyme all over it) in the master's most commercially successful film to date, THE FLY.


This lovely fan poster by Silver Ferox is the only worthy alt art I could find online for THE DEAD ZONE:

































And this time the winner is Matt Ryan Tobin, for this truly inspired and beautiful poster (with glow in the dark layer):





Next time: DEAD RINGERS and NAKED LUNCH!


Sunday, 9 October 2016

AUSMUTEANTS




Addictive as fuck new album from Melbourne's Ausmuteants. This is DEVOtional worship to be sure, but on Band of the Future they've developed into much more than just another Coneheads type DEVO clone. All kinds of weird old shit pops into my head when I listen to this: Mi-Sex; the Hypnotics Indoor Fiends LP; lots of early English punk. "Music Writers" is just straight up Dickies worship. But enough with the comparisons, just get it into your ears already.




Saturday, 8 October 2016

NO TOMORROW - A TURBO KID TALE




Do you crave more of TURBO KID's fun mix of Enzo Castellari, sugary feelgood humour and splattery gore? If so then you're in luck. A sequel has been announced, but in the meantime we get this awesome prequel short featuring the cutest android ever to roam the Wastelands. Yes, Apple is back (with Laurence Leboeuf reprising the role), and so is the cool post-apocalyptic style and eye-popping gore (there's a moment in this short that is legit disgusting).

François Simard, Anouk Whissell and Yoann-Karl Whissell (AKA Roadkill Superstars) are once again the maniacs behind the camera on this short, which is actually a music video for Le Matos' "No Tomorrow" (the version with vocals by PAWWS, which has grown on me since this post).

Check out the Roadkill Superstars Vimeo page for a ton of other rad stuff (DEMONITRON is hilarious). Stream or buy the whole 50 track TURBO KID OST here. And remember kids, EYES THROAT GENITALS!!






Sunday, 2 October 2016

ISS - Studs




At attention spud! ISS are back with a new 6 track cassette. More catchy, sarcastic anti-punk from this pair of weirdos from Raleigh, North Carolina. "Part-Time All The Time" has an infectious pop hook to it that demands to be played on repeat, while "Peniss Envy" speeds up and gets its hardcore groove on while taking the pISS out of your CRASS worship (love that sonar/beacon sound). Oh, and for those of you playing catch up, all of these songs are comprised entirely of samples, stitched together from all your Favourite Punk Classics™. The irony is that this Frankenstein's mix of all the old punk that everyone's emulating these days is just about the most original thing around at the moment. Funny artwork too, the SST font is a nice touch. The world needs more punk that makes fun of punks while defacing Henry's beautiful physique. Run of fifty cassettes, all gone now, but you can nab a nice rip from HUGE BUMMER (which, by the way, is a great blog). At ease.